When life lessons repeat

Last week my partner was visiting family, leaving me alone for the first time since we moved in together. I felt nervous leading up to his departure.

I’ve been working from home for a while, but the last 2 years have been difficult as a busy client-call schedule has confined to the quiet of my home. I’ve learned that too much alone time and too little face-to-face human interaction triggers anxiety for me.

What was I going to do with my partner gone?

Just 3 years ago I was single and living on my own for the first time in my life. It was hard as hell at first, but I grew to absolutely love it.

During that time I vowed to never lose myself in a relationship again. Clearly I’d taken some steps backwards since then.

It’s okay. The lessons we learn in life are rarely one and done. Rather they rise up to meet us at a new level so we can continue to integrate them.

I knew it was time to step up my game for the sake of my mental wellbeing. I asked myself “What’s the ONE thing I must do each day to feel my best?” The answer: Get out of the damn house! The earlier the better.

I made plans every day, whether to meet a friend or move my body in a group setting. I did things that had been on my list for a while, like trying a new co-working space, taking a Nia class, and visiting my former Toastmasters club. My evenings became a sacred time to dance and wind down by candlelight.

Truth be told… it was SPECTACULAR! I reconnected with myself in a way that hadn’t seemed accessible since I lived alone. There was no one else to think of but me.

I fell in love with myself all over again. But the big takeaway is learning how to incorporate this into life with my partner. I’ve known for months that I need to get out more. Why was it so hard before, and yet so easy as soon as he left?

We get into routines. Weekday time with my partner is limited to evenings, so I tend to stay home with him, even if I’ve already been home all day.

The wiser me knows I can still make plans to take a class or meet a friend after work. I need this. I must continue to do this for myself. I trust that I will.

Is there a lesson that’s repeating itself for you? Is there a routine you’re having a hard time getting out of?

Ask yourself this question: What’s the ONE thing you must do today to feel your best?

Go do it as if your life depends on it!! Then ask it again tomorrow, and the next day. Just keep showing up. You’re worth the effort.

Lastly, I’d love if you’d reply and share what your commitment is for today! It’s fun when we can cheer each other on. 🙂 I’m so proud of you!

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