Lately everyone we talk with wants to feel more confident: clients, friends, colleagues. You want more confidence too, right?
Why do we all want it?
Because confidence is our ticket to facing our fears so we can do the things we know we need to do to feel successful, such as:
-nailing a presentation at work
-having a vulnerable conversation with a spouse or friend
-finally having the guts to book that dream vacation
-making a difficult decision that’s best for us but might hurt someone else
-talking to strangers to make new friends
Without confidence, we might never do any of these things, and instead sit in disappointment and regret, dreaming of what could have been… if only…
I used to be scared of all of these things, and never would have chosen “confident” in the top 30 words to describe myself.
But lately, there’s been a MAJOR shift.
I feel more confident than I’ve ever felt in my ENTIRE LIFE!
This year’s been a turning point. It seems that every week my confidence is stronger than before, and I’m constantly amazed and proud of what I’ve done and who I’ve become.
Sometimes I look back and wonder.. how the heck did I do that? Was that REALLY me??!
Here are just a few items on my personal achievement list, thanks to soaring confidence:
- Quit my job to pursue this business full time
- Attended a ton of events where I knew NO ONE, initiated conversations with strangers, AND invited them to tea (Major Introvert Accomplishment!!!)
- Voluntarily spoke in front of groups of people several times (for business but also “fun”)
- Entered into a humorous speech contest and won three levels (next round pending!)
- Started seeing a therapist
- Shared difficult feelings with friends, family, and my boyfriend
All of these things have caused me at some point to lose sleep, have trouble eating, and feel extremely nervous, but I did them anyway, because the more we do seemingly scary things, the more we train our brains to not see them as scary anymore.
Of course the question is…
How do we start feeling confident?? Sure we can do things to raise our confidence but how do we get the confidence to even start???
I’ll share with you the 2 tips that have made a world of difference for me.
Tip #1: Surround yourself with encouraging people.
This is BY FAR the most important and helpful thing you can do for yourself.
This year I’ve had more people believing in me than EVER, and it’s the most incredible feeling.
If you don’t yet believe in yourself as much as you’d like, find the people who will cheer you on. Find the people who want to see you succeed.
When others believe in you, it’s contagious, and you’ll begin to believe in yourself too.
Some people say the reverse is true.. That you’ve got to believe in yourself first if you expect someone else to, but let’s be honest. We don’t all start out that way.
How do you find these people? First survey who you spend your time with, and start to be more selective. If you know someone who’s always encouraging others, be around that person more, and tell them how much you appreciate it.
The top cheerleaders in my life these days are my sister, my Toastmasters club, and my therapist. They all hold a powerful vision for me and what I’m capable of doing, even when I don’t see it myself.
And then because they see it, I see it too.
My Toastmasters club has cheered me on through this humorous speaking competition. Thanks to them, I’ve spoken in front of the most people I ever have, and next year I will speak in front of hundreds more.
Who do you want on YOUR cheerleading squad?
Tip #2: Reflect on your accomplishments every day.
You’re already doing things you can feel confident about. You just have to build your awareness.
Here’s a simple activity to try.
Every night before bed, write down one way you created value that day. By value, I mean how you helped someone else. It could be as simple as a compliment or spreading love and inspiration.
Here are some of the ways I’ve added value recently:
- Providing constructive and encouraging feedback to my colleagues
- Giving food and water to a homeless cat in my neighborhood
- Helping my clients see a new perspective that moves them from limitation to possibility
It can be challenging to come up with something when starting, so if you’re ever stuck, you can instead write down what you value about yourself, like the simple fact you care enough to WANT to be more confident, to be a better version of yourself.
By reflecting on this every day, I feel proud of my contributions.
I’m helping others which I’m so passionate about. The smallest gesture leaves an impression, and I like to imagine it has a ripple effect.
This is a HUGE boost to my confidence.
Are YOU ready for a confidence boost?
Just remember, whatever it is you want to do, whatever this confidence will help you tackle, YOU CAN DO IT!
You were born for this! There are so many people cheering you on and rooting for you.
They believe in you, and so do we.
You were made for greatness.
So go out there, do your thing, and rock it with confidence 🙂
Jessica Juliano: Self-Worth Advocate + Author 