How to win job happiness tug-of-war

Do you have a career or are you your career?

We spend a lot of time working so it’s easy for a job to consume our identity. It’s why so many of us can’t relax – we don’t know what to do when we’re not working!

You might even love your job but factors that seem out of your control get in the way and you no longer feel connected to your purpose.

Purpose. Feeling useful, valued, connected to something greater than ourselves.

Do you ever find yourself just trying to make it til closing time?

Most of my clients have felt this intense tug of war – Do I stay at my job (it’s easier to stay but so stressful) or do I find something else (but that’s time-consuming and hard because it’s my identity)?

I was there myself.. many many times. Like when my dad passed away and I couldn’t fathom spending the rest of my life sitting at a computer.. but what else could I possibly do?

When faced with such an “impossible” decision, the first thing to do is focus on taking care of yourself as much as you can and trust that the answer will become clear.

We’re not victims of our circumstances. Sometimes we just need a confidence boost to ask for what we want or we need to change our habits and defend our boundaries. There’s so much that’s in our control.

In my case, I focused on what made me an asset which gave me the confidence to apply for a promotion – and get it! The new challenge was exactly what I needed for a time. I realized I had to keep asking for what I wanted – my boss isn’t a mind reader.

After making changes we might feel reconnected with our purpose and our job is an enjoyable experience again. Or we may realize despite all that change, it’s not enough, and we’re better off moving on. Eventually this is where I landed.

The best part of that is now you’ll have the self-worth skills to start a new chapter on the right foot – no longer repeating old patterns but firmly planted in new supportive ones.

What can you start doing today to take better care of yourself? What can you ask for to make sure you get it? I hope this leads you down a path to greater peace.

With love,


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