Perfection, Tony Robbins, and massive judgment

Have you heard of Tony Robbins, the really tall fire-walking motivational speaker?

Honestly I never much cared for him. I thought he was too loud, over-the-top, obnoxious.

But this weekend I caught a documentary on his seminars. I saw how he witnessed people with such compassion. He has a gift of saying exactly what they need to hear to break old patterns and move forward, including abuse survivors. It had me tears. I was so moved!

Wow, I had judged him harshly before I even knew what he stood for or the impact he made.

I’ve done this so many times with so many others.

Well, no more! From here on out, I proclaimed to see all humans through the lenses of love. No matter how rude or obnoxious someone seems, deep down they deserve love and compassion because it’s the lack of love and compassion that often makes people act that way, or makes me perceive them that way.

Then I stopped myself.

That was my perfectionist talking. Yes I do believe all beings are worthy of love and compassion, but it’s unrealistic to expect myself to give that 100% of the time.

Being human means the tendency to judge. It’s in our biology, a safety mechanism. That doesn’t mean it’s always right or needed. In fact it’s led to injustices in our world today. But I can’t erase my humanity.

Instead of vowing to never judge anyone again, I’m setting a daily intention to see and act with more compassion and kindness. I will make mistakes, I will forget. Sometimes I’ll say or think things I’m not proud of. But I’ll be more aware and able to refocus faster.

I’m doing my best, imperfectly, to leave this world better than I found it.

My new book Worthy of Me is all about cultivating greater love, compassion, and acceptance for self, the foundation for the great work we’re all meant to do in this world.

When you respect yourself, all relationships and facets of life are uplifted. Hard decisions become easier. Without self-compassion, I wouldn’t have had the courage to leave “safe” relationships and risk loneliness. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself or others for causing hurt. And I wouldn’t have this newfound admiration for Tony Robbins.

To seeing through the lenses of love – first with self, then with others,

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