Can you recall a friend of yours who was single, lonely, and miserable for awhile, until they met someone, and suddenly you’ve never seen them so happy before?
Don’t you just love seeing your friends like that?
I do too, but I have to say, this strikes me as being so completely backwards!
So many of us are raised to believe we need a partner, a family, a good job, money, and material items to be happy.
This is so risky because we don’t have control over any of that! It can come and go at any moment, and when it’s gone, where is our happiness now?
It’s gone.
I was like that friend so many times. Sad when single, and flying high and free like a bird when in a new relationship.
But that sort of happiness never lasted.
The relationship I chose to leave earlier this year left a void within me, and I couldn’t wait to find that new special someone.
But after 2 weeks of crying to every Ed Sheeran song ever written, I realized something.
The void was not from the end of my relationship with my partner. It was from going all this time completely neglecting my relationship with myself.
I’ve spent the past 3 years nurturing a relationship with myself but while I was with my ex, I’d compromised so much. I’d lost touch with my identity as an individual.
Being single has given me the perfect opportunity to design my life exactly as I want it, exactly in alignment with who I am and what feeds my soul.
It didn’t take long for me to reach a level of happiness I’ve never before known, so pure and complete, conditional only upon my continued commitment to myself.
Yes I do need other people in my life to be happy because connection is soulfully satisfying. But I’m not reliant on any one person.
I know I can trust myself to do what it takes to keep me feeling good, supported, alive, happy, and content.
People come up to me all the time telling me how great my energy is, how good it feels to be around me, that it’s contagious!
I’m like that friend again, except this time it’s not because of a partner. It’s all me.
So what is the best relationship advice I’ve ever received?
Take personal responsibility for your own happiness!
Don’t put that pressure on anyone else! Make yourself your top priority and encourage your partner to do the same.
Imagine that type of relationship, when both people care for themselves deeply. They don’t NEED each other to be happy. They CHOOSE to be together to create a new level of happiness from their overflow.
Whether you’re single, dating, or in a relationship, take time for yourself. Explore what’s important to you. Create space to honor your individuality without compromise.
You are worth that.
If you’re like me and you’ve gone so long being completely out of touch with yourself, I’m happy to support you through this process. Check out the different ways we can work together and start honoring the truth of who you are. So much more happiness is waiting for you.
Jessica Juliano: Self-Worth Advocate + Author 