Moving in with someone right before quarantine has been a growth experience (straight talk: challenge) for me and my relationship.
We’re not used to spending so much time together with lifestyle limitations, and he’s not used to the Scooby song (keep reading).
It got me thinking about others’ relationships – people they’re already living with, or people they can’t be with right now.
Relationships that already had tension, and now in confined space together (or greater distance apart), it’s more apparent, and many feel powerless against these circumstances.
But what if we flipped the story?
What if we could turn this into a true growth experience? What if we could make our relationships stronger?
When you re-emerge, do you want your relationships (and your self-worth) to be in shambles or do you want to emerge powerfully resilient and more capable than ever of handling any challenge in your relationships?
I’m choosing the latter.
To show my commitment, I asked my partner these questions:
Are you happy living here with me? What can I do to make it better for you?
I asked these questions because I care about strengthening our relationship. I care about creating a safe space for us to share our needs. I care about keeping my home a peaceful sanctuary.
It’s a vulnerable question to ask. And it’s worth it.
The answer I got back revealed that I should stop singing the Scooby song.
You know, the song where I take out all the lyrics and replace them with the name of my cat, Scooby. (If you have a pet, you know what I mean.)
He found it annoying.
Because we started this conversation with compassion and positive intention, I received his response with empathy, imagining what it’d be like to hear something annoying all day long. How over time that frustration would build up and drive one crazy.
Now I choose with love + compassion to keep that song between me and Scooby (although she doesn’t seem to appreciate it either).
These questions might bring up answers hard to receive, but what’s at stake if you don’t ask them?
If you’re ready to be a courageous leader in your relationships and open up safe space for healing, I’m inviting you to share these questions with your loved ones.
Are you willing to give it a try? Comment below and let me know what you learn in the process.