Have you ever been so stressed and overwhelmed about something, and then when you FINALLY found the courage to share it with the person involved, it turned out there was never anything to worry about?
This is why COMMUNICATION is so important! We build up stories in our heads that lead to unnecessary stress.
Don’t you wish it was easier to communicate your thoughts and feelings, personally and professionally, such as:
- asking for help with a work project
- providing feedback to a co-worker
- telling a friend no when they ask for a favor
- sharing with your partner how something they did made you feel
- asking for something you need or want?
Most of us would LOVE to cut to the chase and get the weight off our backs, but we hesitate to express ourselves with others because we’re scared of….
rejection
an unwanted response
losing something or someone
being judged
making a fool of ourselves
saying the wrong thing
I struggled with this HARD.
In my past relationships I’d often shut down when something was bothering me.
In retrospect, the core reason why I couldn’t communicate with others is because I wasn’t comfortable communicating with myself.
I see this exact same pattern with my clients.
The #1 way to be a better communicator is to improve communication with YOURSELF.
Here are my favorite ways to do this:
1. Check in with yourself at least once a day to acknowledge how you’re feeling.
If we want to improve anything, we must be aware of the status quo first! This is really simple, yet effective, because we often jump from one activity to the next without any awareness of how we’re feeling about it! You can do this at your desk, in your car, at home, in your head or by writing in a journal.
2. Set an intention at the start of your day.
Consider how you WANT to feel today and what you can do to cultivate that experience. For example, if you have a meeting and want to feel confident, schedule time to prepare or stand in the mirror and do Superman power poses!
3. Write in a notebook or journal.
You may write about how your day went, how you’re feeling, and just allow yourself to process it. For many of us, communicating verbally is challenging because we struggle with our words. Writing is a great way to improve that! Write out what you’d like to say to someone!
4. Talk to yourself out loud!
Who says you have to be crazy to talk to yourself? Expressing yourself out loud is another great way to process our emotions and experiences without “lashing out” on someone. You can also practice what you’d like to say so you’re more prepared to have a vulnerable conversation with someone else.
I share these strategies with my clients all the time and the feedback I always get is how much easier it becomes to communicate with others.
YES IT WORKS because we build trust within ourselves.
Trust leads to confidence.
Confidence leads to standing up for ourselves even when it’s uncomfortable.
Even when we fear being judged.
And remember, the fear is usually worse than the reality 🙂
YOUR TURN: Which strategy would you like to try? In what ways are you already communicating with yourself? Share in the comments 🙂
Jessica Juliano: Self-Worth Advocate + Author 